STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
