i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
