We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
