if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
do herpes really smell.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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