Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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