Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
