Just cropdusted the office
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
