If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Randomize
