how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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