a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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