he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
