Yo dont text me then not text me
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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