Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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