yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think people are normalizing furries
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize