Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Operation Purity has been aborted
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
