a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So vagazzling was a success
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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