i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
