Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
