some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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