I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
