did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
They are going to name an STD after you.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
