You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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