how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
