im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
