i permit you to call me
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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