If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
