that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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