I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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