marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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