Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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