He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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