u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
