what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
