I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
