he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
