YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
