i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
