Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
