idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
