I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Randomize
