I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize