you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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