yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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