I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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