why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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