I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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