I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
