I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
