:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
