And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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