yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
