You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
