I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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