Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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