There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
