So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
