it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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