Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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