Fine. I'll sleep in my office
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
