So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
