Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
