i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
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