I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
