I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
