so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
