I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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