I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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