Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
