Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
